Andileubitz's Blog

Here is the clip for The Balancing Act appearance- Sept 30th on Lifetime!

Whoa is the mother who must adjust from having a delicious cheery 18 month old, fun and loving, learning to live in the real world to a tantrum throwing, screaming terrible-two’s toddler.

The 6-12 months of torturous, infamous, terrible-two’s are enough for mothers around the world to pull their hair out (myself included). Why just 1 month ago, my delightful, delicious 20 month old, smiling and happy, slightly shy became a terror. Sure, she is still happy…sometimes. Most of the time, she wants her way. And when she doesn’t get it, the tantrum begins… it varies- sometimes including biting her own arm, certainly throwing whatever she is holding (she even threw a treat down the other day smashing it to pieces!) and generally throwing herself on the ground.

It is hard to tell when her mood will strike, and what will set her off- a bit like a ticking time bomb.

A once fabulous sleeper, she no longer sleeps through the night. She sleeps solidly for about 2 hours and then wakes up with screams that could wake the dead, as if someone is torturing her. What mother can listen to that??? It is almost easier to take her out so she just stops screaming. Usually, I wait until the blood-curdling cries some, then Dan or I cave.

Anyone who has parented a child in this stage can tell you it is frustrating and exhausting. I am here to tell you after four cases of terrible-two’s, I think I have figured it out, although there is no perfect solution. It all boils down to method of communication.

We’ll use Orli, my almost 2 year old, as our case study. She knows what she wants and tries to communicate that (all I hear is blah, blah, blah because I don’t understand ¾ of the “words” she is using). In the meantime, she wants to get her message through to me, and being only 2, she has a short fuse. When she can’t communicate to me properly to get her message across and get the response she is looking for, she freaks out. Hey listen- wouldn’t you?

Solution? Lots of energy, patience, distractions. Take them for a walk, telling them all the while where you are going, what you are doing, seeing, etc. They are dying to get you to understand them. The best thing you can do is expose them to more language at this point. Teach them full sentences- avoid baby talk. This is the time they are paying attention and so provide appropriately for their little sponge brains! Reading with associated pictures is helpful- music with corresponding choreography is wonderful! Talk in number sequences (let’s go up the stairs: 1, 2, 3…), introduce them to colors (look at this beautiful red flower, blue sky, green grass, your purple shirt, etc). I am not convinced that at this age they are interested or aware of emotions- probably a good idea to skip that for now…

Orli, without really understanding what she is doing, can count to three, do the hand motions to the itsy bitsy spider and sing parts of Old MacDonald. This isn’t because she actually knows what she’s doing, but because of the repetition I give her. It’s teaching her to help express what she wants in a way that she can. She knows where her toys are and can reach the shelf of books, so when she wants to play with something, she can help herself or bring something to me to show me she wants to play with it.

I remember when Gabi (7) was just 18 months, and I had Maayani (6) as a newborn- when Gabi needed entertaining or attention and I couldn’t give it to him because I was attending to Maayani, I would sit feeding her, changing her, etc and sing to Gabi- typically the wheels on the bus or Row Row Row your boat (mainly when I didn’t have free hands to do the hand motions). It really helped to distract him as it was an interactive game we were playing. If you have access to a CD that can play these songs and you can sing certain parts along, even better! Then your two year old won’t get frustrated when you get distracted and stop singing!

At the end of the day, remember to breathe- terrible twos is an extremely frustrating period, but it is just that. A period. It will end, just like all the other phases and before you know it, you’ll be onto the next fun stage! For now, try and love your two year old as much as possible and know, this too shall pass!

On June 4, I started a conversation on my facebook wall about folding laundry and how it has become my life. I got a wild amount of feedback, so I have dedicated my p0ll today to hearing from all of you who didn’t reply (and those who did, please do so again).

A few friends have asked me recently why I started this Supermom Poll business anyway… it was on June 4th that I was inspired by all the replies I got (over 20).  I had found a topic for my facebook status that really pulled at some people- friends were interested in giving advice, hearing what others had to say and were looking for pointers on how they can minimize the work and simply find it more enjoyable.

It was from then that I began thinking about a central location where people could get handy mom tips and give feedback to others.

I am a not a supermom by trade (that is, I am not a housewife, stay at home mom, “domestic engineer”). By day (or night, depending on the season), I work in clinicl research as a project manager.  However, people are far more interested in hearing about being a mom and sharing tips… these are the age-old topics covered by moms worldwide when socializing with friends, at the park, sharing playdates, etc.

So, being that there is a desire for these polls- giving and providing feedback, I have created the forum where we can do just that. I have added a new section to my blog- a polls section where people can come directly here and give their feedback so that I can keep track of topics that interest people and give YOU more of what you are interested in!

Thanks for supporting me here and leaving your feedback!

My favorite kind of night out with one with the girls. My hubby and I work less than 2 feet from each other all day and generally run our errands together, eat breakfast and lunch together, etc.

I do love spending time with Dan and I am so lucky that I get to do this all day. I’ll miss this when I transfer to a “real” office.

But, I don’t enough time with my friends. We are all busy and when we aren’t working, we are with the kids. And there is only so much I can handle heading to the park to socialize. Our socializing is constantly interrupted by the kids.

To me, I would rather be out with the girls- nothing crazy- just coffee, dinner, shopping, hanging out. We don’t even need to leave the house.

One night, Tova, Emily and I sat around with a bottle of wine, burgers bar and an attempt at playing Settlers of Catan. We even set up the board! But we just talked for about 2 1/2 hours. At ease, no interruptions, comfortably. It was great.

Would love to do that again

I am in the car a lot. I do a decent amount of traveling for work, and so I am constantly alone in the car. Truth is, I love the time I get to “spend with myself” in my car.

I sing, a lot, at the top of my lungs.

My favorite tunes change every month, but currently, I am focused on Missy Higgins (thank you Sarah!), Ingrid Michaelson (thank you Abi!), Adele (thank you Ugly Betty!) and Colbie Caillat (thank you Dan!). I sing, sometimes dance, drive, enjoy the epace and quiet in the background.

Here is something most of you don’t know about me- from the age of about 10-17 I sang alto in chior. My sister and our friends and I were all part of some great chiors throughout school, camp, we ever used to volunteer (on our own accord) to sing at the Jewish Home (old age home) in Scranton on shabbat afternoons.

Man, that brought back some memories!

I would love to hear what your favorite activity is. Please post it here!

Zen Habits- 7 secrets to raising a happy child

This guest writer for Zen Habits, Sean Platt is WriterDad.

Sean writes a great blog about family and fathering- also teaching kids how to become great writers. What dad do you know that blogs about fathering? What a great idea! Way to go Sean! It is so important that our kids see and feel that their dads are actively involved.

The 7 secrets are great and simple things we can do on a regular basis to show our kids that we really are interested and paying attention!